Beatanxiety.Me

The little girl who grew up chronically lonely often becomes the woman who believes she must prove her worth to be loved. She’s learned to function in isolation, convincing herself she’s fine without support, all while craving the connection she was denied. Her fierce independence becomes her armor, a shield against disappointment. But beneath that strength lies an ache—a vulnerability she’s reluctant to expose. She enters relationships with walls so high that no one can reach her, yet close enough to keep her from truly healing. Her journey to healing begins when she realizes that true worth doesn’t depend on proving herself or being self-sufficient. She must confront the walls she built, breaking them down to finally let love in, without needing to prove a thing. Healing is learning that she is worthy just as she is.

Have you ever felt like you’re constantly drawn to people who are emotionally unavailable? The ones who are distant, who leave you feeling empty no matter how much of yourself you pour into them. You fall hard, you fall fast, yet the moment it feels good, you find yourself ready to walk away. Ghosting. Self-sabotaging. Giving up parts of yourself in an attempt to connect but feeling lonelier than ever. You’re not alone. This is often the story of the abandoned little girl who grows up still carrying that ache, that void. She becomes the partner who seeks out broken souls, hoping that in saving them, she might find the healing she’s been searching for her entire life. But this path? It leaves her more broken, more empty. She gives her heart freely yet never feels truly seen. She’s fiercely independent on the outside, a strength born from years of learning to fend for herself, yet inside, she’s screaming to be held, to be loved without needing to prove herself. She surrenders her body in hopes that it will soothe the ache in her heart, but it only makes the pain run deeper. The hard truth is that no relationship can heal the wounds left by abandonment, by a lack of love and validation in your formative years. Until you address these wounds head-on, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns, searching for love in places that only remind you of your loneliness. Healing doesn’t come from finding someone who finally “gets” you or from becoming the savior of someone else’s pain. Healing comes when you turn inward, when you stop looking outward for validation and start rebuilding from within. It’s about learning to hold yourself in the moments of loneliness, confronting the fear of abandonment that drives you into these painful cycles. The journey to wholeness isn’t easy. It’s raw, it’s uncomfortable, and it requires honesty that might feel like too much to bear. But on the other side of that journey lies a life where you don’t need to chase love or save anyone to feel whole. You’ll finally break free from the patterns that have held you back, stepping into a version of yourself that is grounded, healed, and whole.

Trauma! What trauma?!? Early abandonment and neglect leave a lasting imprint on our sense of self and our capacity to connect with others. When caregivers respond inconsistently—or not at all—children internalize a belief that their needs aren’t important or won’t be met. This unhealed wound often matures into one of two patterns in adulthood: anxious attachment or love avoidance. Anxiously attached individuals become preoccupied with relationships, constantly seeking validation to soothe their deep fear of being left. They’re often trapped in cycles of anxiety, craving connection but never truly feeling secure. This fear-driven need for closeness leads to dependency, yet it never quite fills the void left by early abandonment. On the other hand, love avoidant individuals learned to survive by shutting down their need for intimacy. They internalized the belief that closeness brings pain, so they build walls, pushing others away when they get too close. These individuals feel most safe when they are independent, but it’s a lonely safety—a habit rooted in unresolved fear of rejection. These attachment styles often keep people trapped in cycles of attraction to those who reinforce their core wounds. For anxious types, they may be drawn to those who are emotionally unavailable, repeating the pain of neglect. Avoidants often attract those who cling, finding themselves suffocated by the very intimacy they crave but resist. Healing means breaking these cycles. It’s learning that connection doesn’t have to mean surrendering your sense of self, and that intimacy doesn’t have to be a trap. Addressing these wounds takes work—uncovering the protective walls and learning to replace them with healthy boundaries and self-compassion.